Lost Love

Yesterday I received a message from my daddy.

This message makes me thinking of my previous memories.

I am thinking of,

When the time I am still living in the happiness family and sweet home.

He wrote:

“Tonight again, I keep on looking at Ah B (my younger sister) bed and thinking of her a lot. She was so cute, I hope your mum don’t bit her a lot, the very wrong thing I done is not her fault, hope your mum love her a lot. Now I am very afraid to get back home, because every time at home, I so difficult to sleep, because thinking of you all. God bless you all.”

At that second, I cried out.

Why everything just changed at the way that I dislike?

Why my home just gone at a night?

I just hope I can have a family! Just a simple family!

But, this happiness doesn’t happen to me again from one year ago.

I know,

I lost my love one, everything.

I thought I was so tough that I can get through all those difficulties…

Formerly, I did not.

I just tried to escape my own feeling.

I know, no matter how hard I tried before,

I am still cannot forget what I belonged before, and what I loss now.

I am so stress!

I hate to be eldest; I hate I have to be the sober one in this family.

I have to bear all the responsibility; I have to take care of family feelings,

And ignore my own feeling!

No matter how sad I am, I had to swallow a breath.

This is because I am the least qualified person to be sad.

Dad,

I dont dare to get back home also.

I will be called in mind about my past time.

Laugh and joyful that I belonged will surrounding around my mind,

You gave everything to me, but also took everything from me.

I feel like want to hate you, but I can’t!

What the only thing that I got from you was:

My Happiness was short-lived!

: : I will never forget : :